-[ liFe oF a gAMeR ]-

aku sungguh bosan... ari2 men game (its been since 5 years back! wow!!)... tapi kebelakangan semuanya rasa amat membosankan... lelebih lagi satu masalah baru telah timbul yang amaat membuatkan aku bengang dan terjerit2 lam bilik macam org giler... ape die?? warcraft3 aku buat hall!! yep im a DotA player in Blueserver...

sebelom semua neh terjadi everything is ok... baru2 neh jerk biler aku start nak men balik setelah agak lama meninggalkan arena DotA dan beralih kepada beberapa on9 game yg len... da bemacam2 cara aku buat... cek forums, godek2 war3 folder, tanyer member2 seangkatan, sumer tak dapat nak menyelesaikan masalah aku... ia amat menyedihkan aku...

ditambah pula dengan acc Utopia dan Earth:2025 kene delete ntah kenapa... dah seminggu tapi acc masih aktif menyebabkan aku taleh nak buat acc baru... org2 besar alliance sumer da berbunyi pasal tadak acc... oh tidak!! mungkin aku akan dipecat tidak lama lagik!!

mengapakah semua ini terjadi??? owh mungkin tuhan nak soh aku lebih matang dr duk men game jerk?? tapi mengapa sekarang?? wallahuaalam... tapi aku masih berharap semua masalah neh boleh diselesaikan secepat yg mungkin walopon aku da abeh idea nak buat macam mana...

iT tOucHeS mE... iT doEs!!

i found this when i was checking my frens list (bored n out of idea wat to do...) on ym which 5/6 of them r off9... guess all hav their own life now... btw please check it out... it might bring tears to u u know... but well im a bit taff... haha... not enuff to make me cry!! HMMMP! ^^

http://www.makeadifferencemovie.com/

tiMe GoeS bY...

another day another story passed by... for most ppl that is but not for me... im still here sitting in this dark room (purposely lite off ok!) n still looking n looking... ppl say im too choosy? hell im not... they just din giv me the opportunity (?) for me to show wat i am realy made of... arghhhhh!!! Search everywhere but still none... *sigh*

how long more i can survive? till when i can hold on like this? times drawing near... bit by bit im losing everything... how am i suppose to get out of the cold? god im tired of living like this... its been hell!! tho i know the true hell is lot worst! please help me!!!

pfff... this all my fault n now im begging?? yes! i am pathetic... i know, no need to tell me... its my fault to let it go... its my fault to think theres always another chance... its my fault to feel too confident about it... its my fault now im helpless... its my fault to be pathetic again... its my fault i got tainted by those... its my fault i got too addicted... its my fault i din realy WAKE UP!!!

WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!!

n now that i am what do i get?? too late to regret too much b upset... anybody who read this, pls pray for me... pls pray that i will find 1... pls pray that i can survive... may gob bless u...

im all fucked up!

hoW tImE pAss bY...

to my surprise n my dissappointment i just realize act lost hold most of my precious artifact (u kidding me?) well act "my piece of mind" that long time ago i wrote on my depressed, sadness, sorrows, n all sorts...

then i think back, i din just lost dat... but also a lot more other things (anything even ppl included!!) that r dearest to me... counting on the days, its act even passed back more than 2 or 3 years!! it just feels like yesterday... i know all of us also sumtimes felt this way... its the way human r...

huh! this sentimental thing scares the shit outta me!! damn im not going to die yet!! at least me marry n let my generation cont...!! eeehhh! like i can stop it if i were to die 2moro... *sigh*


well, keep breathing while u still can!!

yUp! i aM!!

aKu oRanG aSiNg

siapalah aku untuk memuja
bulan nan tinggi jatuh ke riba
nilai ku ini sekecil hama
hanya sendiri ak berpunya apa

dimana harga dimana tempat
di tepian jua aku merempat
memilikimu hanya tinggal hasrat
semuanya aku pembawa musibat

ingatanku padamu sentiasa segar
rinduku padamu tak pernah pudar
hanya cintaku kini dihindar
seluruh dirimu terhalang terpagar

kemana hilang kemesraan dulu
diantara kau dan juga aku
hanya ada sedih dan rasa pilu
selubungi kita setiap waktu

pada siapa harus ku hamparkan
pada siapa harus ku gambarkan
kesedihan hati yang tiada tertahan
kepahitan jiwa yang harus ku telan

apakah hikmah yang mungkin ada
mungkinkah itu semuanya dusta
mengenangkan hati dan kata kata
yang penuh duri dan rasa hampa

tiada lagi dirimu disisi
diriku ini ditemani sepi
terdampar kaku menghitung hari
tersisih terbuang menunggu mati

(yup i do malay... i am malay DUH!)

- oNce uPoN a TimE -

Just Stop....

You,
pliss stop
i cannot hold it anymore
the pain is too much 4 me to hold
my heart arent that strong
the scar that have long gone
now start to bleed again

y r u doing this 2 me?
i never hurt u
it hurts me to hurt u
i just need u 2 say
what have i done 2 u?
is it wrong just 2 love u?

i never ask u to love me
i just want to c u happy
even to c u with another guy
i try my best 2 grin n bear
pretend that im ok
4 u i will do all

i know u didnt love me
but i dont need ur sympathy
i just want to love u
u dont have to love me back
as love means to me
to make ur love one happy

if u dont want me
dont pass me to others
its better that im alone
so 1 thing i wanna ask
just stop
im not urs anyway

oNly hoPe...

HOPE

the days that ill be going through
i know i will be missing you
but thats all there what i can do
passing the road i nvr knew

those every steps that i had taken
pray to god it wouldnt be mistaken
i know i would nvr be forgiven
and i know my place is not in heaven

i was once a shoulder to cry on
but then i wish i nvr being born
coz i nvr know wat goes beyond
n my love i have that now are gone

i always wish i could just die
as im being pissed and i just cry
i told everybody not just to fly
but me myself going too high

n then i fall up from the sky
as the love come n say bye bye
my tears flowing nearing to dry
of all the truth that i cant lie

i am nothing but just a crap
im to be thrown n not to be grab
i known i am but just a lack
i just cant stop hoping u back

i wish the time one day will come
for me again to hold your arm
touching your face within my palm
the heart and soul resting in calm

i love u much no words can say
my lust for you just cant delay
but what i got is just to pray
hope ull be back for me 1 day

tHaT waS loNg!!

uh oh im finally here again... yeah its quite a long time till i forget my logins n pass... what a shame... ah to hell with it now dat im here again... who cares?? atleast not me... heh... well well... when i started this thing longgg longggg time ago (act this is my 2nd 1 my 1st i seem to cant even hold a trace of it duh!) i tried to hav a piece of mind... of my mind where i act can write anything n ppl cant say anything bout it!! ahah! yes u can comment n dispise me n like i care huh? so well as the soo called beginning ill post my very very very old masterpiece (ya rite~!) then hopefully (yes hopefully...) it would cont with my thoughts! hooray!!

- [ SaD bUt TruE ] -

It's scary when u have to live the next day thinking about the person u love and to actually know at the back of your mind that, they dont give a fuck.People always say, sometimes you think the person u love the most will be the one that protects you from everything. But in true fact, people u love the most always end up hurting you the most.You've proved that right to me just like everyone around me tht i loved did
"I wont say that I know what you are going through but I can relate to it. It is not I want to ignore you but I need you to understand that you are not the only thing that revolve around me. I have my work, my problems, my demanding clients and many more. I am sorry that i cant cater to your need. And dont say that I have changed cause you dont really know me yet.You have no idea of what I am going through now and please stop pushing me"
I know Im just a baby who look like a girl so,i'll stop pushing you ok? =)
I can never learn to trust another. I can never learn how to forgive so quickly because of you.
And all i've got to say is, Thank you for your time & love. You touched my life more than you can ever imagine
Bye.


regards,
Quoted from sumbody i know...